Embarassing Revelation #2

Ok. This one's a little more serious than #1.

I'm scared of babies. I'm getting better about it -- my bff, the girl, now woman, with whom I literally had the necklace, just had her second baby, and she's helped me a lot with my comfort level around the little ones. She's such a natural mom, and so unconcerned that I'll drop her little bundles of joy and ruin their lives. With her adorable first, I wouldn't hold him that first day in the hospital unless I was sitting down, and I was terrified to hand him off lest I drop him in the exchange.

With #2, a beautiful little girl, I did a little better. As has become our tradition, her first morning in the hospital with her infant I went over at the beginning of visiting hours, laden with bagels and good coffee (decaf for her). This time, she handed me her daughter and I walked all over the room with her, talking to her and watching her respond to the light playing across her face. I bounced her and made the sitting-to-standing and back again transition a number of times and didn't stress out. It was a big step for me, and I left the hospital completely infatuated with the little girl.

I think the reason I'm so scared of babies is because I really did drop one once. I was young, maybe 10 years old, and sitting at the dinner table in a room full of adults. Someone handed me a baby -- I don't even remember whose baby it was, it was a gathering of adults I didn't really know -- and before I knew what happened, the baby had slid off my lap and onto the floor. It wasn't far to fall, and was actually, to my memory, reasonably gentle -- many people didn't even notice, and the baby wasn't upset -- but it scarred me. I wasn't ready to be responsible for a baby, and the baby fell.

I'm still a bit wary of them, obviously, but being around my bff's children and my other friends' babies is helping. I know it's not entirely rational, but I can't be the only one -- anyone else a little more scared than you should be of dropping babies?

remember that theme?

photo by shannon hibberd

remember how the theme for this whole nablopomo nonsense is thanks? well my cup is overflowing at this moment. this has been a day jampacked with goodness. first, my sister is now blogging! check out her awesomeness. secondly, my evening went nothing like i anticipated. not knowing what to expect at my expecting friend's house, i sort of figured we'd stop in, heat up dinner, and make an exit, so as not to disrupt the calm. negative! the soon-to-be-papa assured us they'd love our company for a bit longer, so instead of ducking out, we joined our friends at the table, had a meal they swore they enjoyed, and then played a rousing game of parcheesi. it was a perfect night, and, selfishly, it was so good for me to see my friends doing so well. plus, i came in second at parcheesi, which sure didn't hurt.

riding home with the warmth of a great night with friends surrounding me, i didn't think this night could get much better, but my inbox held further delights. first, another baby! a good friend of mine just welcomed little arlo into the world with much fanfare and few complications, and i'm gushing with excitement for the new family. secondly, my sister forwarded the photos - nearly 600 of them - from her wedding, and cam and i just watched the complete slideshow. re-living that incredible, amazing, life-affirming event has me overwhelmed and overblessed. i have more to say, a good thing in a solid month of blogging, but for now, just look again at the picture above, of love.