love is all around

ok, so the first round of the bad was pretty bad. even though cam was gone for 9 days instead of 10, i hit a low low spot around day 5. i love being alone, but this time, i was too alone. my best dc friend was out of town, my awesome roommate was out of town, and i just felt lonelier than patsy cline. after a fantastic phone date with cam i realized hey! i have the resources to fix this situation! and just a few hours later, my weekend was PACKED. friday after work i headed home to visit my bff, her hubby, and little evan, then dashed to my sister's and then to dinner downtown with her, her bf, and some other friends. we had two rounds of tapas at kyma, two bottles of wine, and more than two hours of good conversation. the funniest part came toward the end... i headed down the street to the atm to get a bit more cash for my share of the bill. the line took forever, and when i finally slipped my card into the slot, the brightest light shone straight on me from the street. what?! i shielded my eyes and checked it out - it was a cop car shining its spot on me. huh? i sort of glared and turned back to the atm. next, "ma'am: you there, at the atm, are you alright" boomed over the cop's pa. duh, of course i am. so i shot another glare over my shoulder and went back to the machine. again, "are you ok at the atm?" next thing i hear is my sister laughing, and i look over once more just in time to see her tumbling out of the backseat of the squad car - our friend, one of annapolis' finest, had picked her up as she trailed me to the atm to make sure i was ok (since i was taking so long). hilarious!

the next day was a doozy too - up early and over to newlywed ernie's new condo to hang out with her and her husband, over to mom's to say hello, then home for about 4 hours and off to a pig roast in brookland. it was fantastic - hosted by the parents of a former intern of ours who graduated from american this summer. they're latino, puerto rican and salvadoran, and man did they throw a feast! the pig was roasted slowly in a large box with coals on top, and accompanied by potato salad, spicy rice, and tons of beer. we dined under a large tent set up in the driveway at tables adorned with vases of flowers, and as soon as the sun set a variety of instruments emerged from the house, and soon thereafter the music began. it was so warm and inviting and fun, i had a hard time leaving.

sunday was another round of the good - more tubing! a different crew this time, and less drunken, but no less fun. and monday i dashed out of work and picked cam up and all was right in the world. he's gone again now, for a day or maybe two... the unpredictability is frustrating, but it's so important and his employer values him so highly that i know we'll make it work. and i'm so proud of him.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

the good:
tubing! on saturday my birthday week continues with tubing at gunpowder falls state park with 10 of my favorite people! we found a rad place that lets you drink beer and float for 2 1/2 hours... the water will be ice-cold, but we have deluxe tubes and we will OWN that river.
the bad:
cam's new job starts sunday night... it's a great job, and i'm so proud of him for being such a superstar at work that they've essentially created a position for him, and it's what he's always wanted to do. the bad part is that he'll be on the road for 10 days at a time, then home for 5. i don't think i need to say any more about why that sucks, but i will say that we have a plan and i think we'll be a-ok... it's just a big adjustment.
the ugly:
i am FAT. fat fat fat. i don't quite have to buy new clothes or anything, but everything's riding a little high as the waistband tries to find a thinner place to rest... and fails... and then rolls/wrinkles a bit. it BLOWS. but i guess the good thing about cam's new job is that it'll mean i can get back to my exercise/eating routine, which keeps me very happily in shape. it'll be tough to get back to where i was, physically, but i'll have the time to do it now.

happy birthday!

cam: "you know how that belt on your car's been squeaking? i can take it in to work today, i should have time to take a look at it..."
emma: "you really want to do that? i mean, that would be great - sure!"
cam: "no problem."

12 hours later, he picks me up at the metro station after work...

cam: "so, do you hear anything?"
emma: "nope! you fixed it! thanks! what was wrong with it?"
cam: "there wasn't anything really wrong with it, i checked everything out... atmospheric conditions... air conditioning... i fixed it by rubbing some dish soap on it."
emma: "that is so cool! thanks!"
cam: "ummm... that's not the only thing i did to your car..."
emma: "huh?"
cam: "yeah... check it out!"

dudes, he totally got me XM for my birthday and installed it in my car. it is SO pretty and fancy and it looks sooooo nice - he wired everything so that it looks like it's always been that way, and today we should be able to activate it and i should be in business! best. boyfriend. EVER.

solo

Stolen from jbd's blog...

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? work.

3. Your hair? damp.

4. Work? distracted.

5. Your father? swimming.

6. Your favorite thing? friends.

7. Your dream last night? rats.

8. Your favorite drink? water.

9. Your dream car? scratch.

10. The room you're in? humming.

11. Your pet? enormous.

12. Your fears? dulled.

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? mom.

14. Where did you hang out last night? bars.

15. What you're not good at? criticism.

16. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex? ew.

17. One of your wish list items? received.

18. Where you grew up? harbor.

19. The last thing you did? coffee.

20. What are you wearing? stripes.

21. What aren't you wearing? pants.

22. Your computer? overloaded.

23. Your life? exquisite.

24. Your mood? mellow.

25. Missing? kahlil.

26. What are you thinking about right now? future.

27. Your car? garaged.

28. Your work? manageable.

29. Your summer? unbelievable.

30. Your relationship status? loved.

31. Your favorite color? green.

32. When is the last time you laughed? bed.

33. Last time you cried? past.

34. School? completed.

magic

ever since i returned from vacation (flickr photos soon, i promise!), i've been having the best time hanging out with friends i missed while i was gone. the past two weekends have been standout - last weekend i had psmee and her lovely love over for dinner, and it was one of those evenings that isn't special because of some amazing meal, or delicious gossip, or the announcement of good news (though there was some of that!)... it was just special for the intimate feel, the relaxing pace, and the quality guests. the meal was good, all thanks to TJ's - a variety of olives, followed by marinated pork loin on the grill, new potatoes with butter and parsley, salad in a bag with gorgonzola, spinach, and cranberries - but not at all difficult, and easy to make while chatting. it was just one of those nights that leaves you loving your friends even more than before.

this weekend was a total lovefest too, from start to finish. ernie got married, and all our high school friends made up the bridal party. friday night was the rehearsal dinner, a classy dress-up affair with mouthwatering food (i had rockfish over crab risotto, with lumps of crab... gorgeous) that made me wish my dress wasn't so tight. it was so fun to hang out with my girls, all dressed up - haven't done that since prom! - and meet their boyfriends, and see them all meeting one another. saturday was wedding day, which started with manicures and BLT's with my sister and her bf (well, just the BLT for him), followed by helping ernie into her wedding dress (an inexplicably joyful thing that made me almost hyper with anticipation), and then witnessing she and her betrothed exchanging vows. the reception was a ball of dancing and drinking and laughing and love. and sunday may have been the best day of all. after cam brought us all breakfast, my sister, her bf, cam, and i went to my best friend's house to visit her, her husband, and little evan. being a part of this family and this little guy's life is the most special thing, and he's so round and beautiful right now i never wanted to put him down. then the four of us had lunch and were joined for fishing and a swim by five more wonderful friends - quite a group! sister's bf launched plans to surprise the newly-27 twins with a birthday party, so he and my sister and i snuck around preparing tacos and cupcakes for everyone. it defies description... these are the events as they transpired, but i'm not nearly elegant enough a writer to get at the feeling, the warm, relaxed mood that pervaded the day. it was perfect.

vive la france!

last night was a celebration of the highest order: my sister, her boyfriend, his mom, cam, and i gathered at my parents' house to cook them dinner as a thank-you for our upcoming trip to france (full credit to cam for proposing the event). it was a party from the get-go: my dad had a cooler of beer and a bowl of homemade guac on the deck for us when we arrived and the celebration was underway. the dinner was a total collaboration - wine and beer and apps from mom and dad, i roasted zucchini, sister made a salad, her bf made lime roasted potatoes, cam grilled swordfish, and sister's bf's mom assembled the most amazing confection i have ever eaten... a cake decorated like the french flag, four layers of meringue and ground almonds with grand marnier infused custard between them, iced all over in homemade whipped cream, blueberries and raspberries in every layer and all over the top... served with veuve clicquot. 4 hours flew by in a flurry of jokes, anecdotes, and comradery. my favorite part, however, may have been the very end, when we divvied leftovers between my sister, her bf, and myself - delicious doggy bags for workday lunches today. i have leftover salad, topped with the roasted zucchini and a wedge of the swordfish... and so much cake for dessert that i had to send out an S.O.S. to my colleagues lest i attempt to finish it myself. eating my lunch was like a little piece of the warmth of last night here at my desk. i can't wait for the trip!

a party in my mouth

note to self: eating pop rocks at your desk at work is not a great idea. they stick to everything, including your face, the front of your shirt, and your clothes.

5 of the 7 deadly sins

recipe for a mind-blowing weeknight:
ingredients:
1 4-pack piraat beer
5 eggs from grandma's farm
1 onion
baby broccoli
fresh basil
fresh spinach
prosciutto
goat cheese
fresh parmesan
toasted tuscan bread
herbed goat cheese

directions:
put recently-procured piraat in the freezer, then have a cheap beer with cam while you wait. listen to boxer, pour piraats. drink piraats and crack second round, then realize one should start cooking before downing second piraat, as they have 10.5% alcohol and cooking requires both knives and fire. chop and sautee the onion, then add broccoli, basil, spinach, and prosciutto. top with scrambled eggs. allow to set for a bit, then top with more goat cheese than seems prudent. toast bread and cut into thirds. pull pan off stovetop and put it under broiler for about 45 seconds. spread herbed goat cheese on toasts. slip frittata onto a plate, sit on the couch and share it on toasts along with the remaining piraat. loudly proclaim one another's culinary genius. then pull the blinds.

pink light

i have so little to say these days, and the only explanation for it that i can come up with is that i'm just too dang happy, and happy translates to boring, on paper anyway. i recently had an email exchange with psmee that gets to some of what's going on that's left me wordless. i mentioned, sort of off-handedly, that i'd stopped missing my loneliness and subsequently launched into this manic phase that continues today. she responded,

that's an interesting concept- you've stopped missing your lonliness. it's almost like you had so much time to be a single girl that lonliness was your "thing," your M.O., in a way.

to which i replied,

yeah, my loneliness was kind of my partner for so long - you put it well when you say that it was my "thing" - i owned it really well and was comfortable with it, so much so that when it was gone, it felt like losing a friend. it was a place i could always go in my head, and it was something i drew strength from. weird, but true. so i mourned the loss of it for quite some time.

i want to clarify, my loneliness was rarely something that got me down - VERY rarely. most of the time it fortified me, kicked me in the pants to attend this event where i wouldn't know many people, go out with that new friend even though i didn't really know what to say to her, and, in quieter times, write things and get all introspective. it's no secret that pain inspires art, and while NOTHING i have produced would be considered art, it's true for me too.
it's nice, though - now i've stopped mourning and get to more fully enjoy the fantastic things going on all over - the marriage of ernie, lots of quality time with my sister, my satisfying job, my fabulous cat, the beach with sara, the upcoming trip to france with my whole family AND my cam. i'm incredibly lucky, and at long last i can finally revel in it, and appreciate it fully.

look out!

it's bachelorette party weekend! more later... just in case the bachelorette's reading this!

the manatee has become the mento

i'm going to eat your family!

vacation, all i ever wanted

last week's sojourn in tortola was both the most and least remarkable vacation i've ever been on. least remarkable because it was just that - when people come up to me and ask me "how was your vacation? what did you do?" the answer is very simple: it was amazing - i laid on a beach with a book and a pina colada every day... not much to tell! but most remarkable in that it's the first time in my life i've ever done just that, and only that, for an entire week. and let me tell you, it's well worth it. my mental state is vastly different than it was when i left. when i left, i was feeling dull around the edges - happy about happy things and sad about sad ones, but everything had lost its luster, and my job irritated me more than usual, and my road rage was more than was warranted (or healthy), and my physical health, or lack thereof, was a constant worry.

now, though nothing's actually changed, i like my job again, i shrug off the mcdonald's semi riding my ass for mile after mile on 395, and though i'm still not healthy, i'm handling it better. and the happy things? the happy things are that much happier. the thrill that you get in your chest, that happy bubbling when you're thinking about something good, or anticipating something exciting, has returned just when i was sure it never could. that, more than anything, was the best thing about my vacation.

on this day, six months ago

on this day six months ago i was slightly hungover. but i rose early, put on my green dress, and the brown flats i hated already, and you came to my door to pick me up. you were in a grey suit, borrowed, and looked more real than i was ready for. i put on my red coat and big sunglasses and got in your car. we stopped at 7-11 for coffee, and i liked that you did not take yours black.

sitting side-by-side waiting for the ceremony to begin we talked fairly easily, but i felt like i should have more to say. i was concentrating on staying in my chair.

during the reception, i hid out in a dark parlor catching up with a girlfriend. it was easier and i didn't have to think about the shoes i hated.

at the end of the day, we climbed the twisty staircase to the pool room. you stopped on the step ahead of me, turned, pulled me to you and kissed me. it was my favorite part of the day.

the best song you'll hear today

get monday started right! full of hope.
feist's i feel it all

welcome to the world, evan!

the last 24 hours have been absolutely incredible (i overuse the word absolutely, but i think i mean it every time... i'll have to go back and check. but i digress.). so right after the show yesterday i tore out of here and made my way to the hospital. i arrived just after baby evan was born - no one even knew his name yet! - and the nurse sent me up to G's room. i couldn't believe i was supposed to just go in - shouldn't i wait in a waiting area of some sort? but i've never done this before, and about four people told me to go right in, so after a nurse came out i sort of pushed the door open and peeped in. G's husband, M, saw me and gave me the "timeout" sign, so i just backed right out again. he came out a few minutes later - G had been given some oxygen and it had been a tense couple minutes in there - and let me know she was ok, evan was here and perfect and all was well. what a relief! we went down to the waiting area together (a-ha! i knew there must be one! but you don't walk by it to get to the rooms, so i never saw it) and he got to break the news to the gathered family. a couple hours later i got to see momma and baby myself, and it was staggering. my best friend, a mother, gave birth, produced this tiny little perfect person. i even held him for a while, sitting down because i was too nervous to hold him and stand. G and M were both pooped, but happy. i didn't stay long, but promised to return with breakfast in the morning.

this morning was great - no oaf walking into the wrong place at the wrong time! i picked up my sister and we stopped for bagel sandwiches, juice, and a biiiiig coffee for new daddy M. everyone was a lot more awake this morning, especially evan, who was looking around, responding to sounds and voices, stretching (while swaddled like a burrito - but you could feel him stretching his spine and legs), gurgling, and even sneezing (which i got on video - ADORABLE). this time i held him at length, standing, sitting, rocking, and even handed him off to the nurse and to G without freaking out. i WILL get better at it... i have to, i'm an aunt!

i love that little guy so much already... can't wait to see him again!

baby boy!

welcome to the world, EVAN MICHAEL! 8lbs, 8oz, 20.8" of perfection.

more later.

baby love

aaaah!!!! my best friend in the world - i've known her since i was three - is in labor right now! i want to be there so badly... she called at 6am, with contractions still a long ways apart but getting more serious, and this is the one day i'm absolutely essential at work, so i can't leave till 4pm. nuts!!! i'm so excited i can barely sit still.

i met G in the summer of 1981. my family had just moved to a brand-new community, where the houses on our court were still being built as we settled into our little rancher. i spent time with my mom and baby sister, i guess, during the day, and went on adventures with my dad on weekends and in the evening, tramping around the woods, picking wild berries, and keeping tabs on the construction around us. then, one magical day, a car pulled up in front of the house across the street, and a little girl got out. i, apparently, pointed excitedly and squealed, "oh, a girl! and she looks my age!" and then i ran across the street, in the most socially-bold move of my life, and introduced myself. we became friends immediately - it's so easy when you're 3! - and have never had more than a "i'm not walking to school with you tomorrow!" gradeschool tiff. i love her like a sister, and, indeed, my dad calls her "#3," short for daughter number three. she has the kindest nature, the most infectious, spontaneous laugh, a near-obsessive respect for organization, and a wonderful husband. i just cannot wait to meet their brand new little boy!

a fish tale

oh man! a couple weeks ago i went on my very first charter boat fishing trip, and it RULED. i was a little worried about committing to the trip - it was expensive, and i had no idea if i'd get seasick. but it was awesome.


we left out of deal island, maryland on the kingfish II with captain harry at 5 o'clock on sunday morning. it was still dark out, with barely a crack of light on the horizon.


while we motored out to the good fishing spots, the mate got busy setting up all the trolling lines.


apparently, rockfish like bait in shades of white and chartreuse.


lisa was first up, and she hooked a monster.


the boys were ready with the net.


you measure it on this to be sure. yup, it's a keeper!


when i was up, i got a biggie too. biggest fish i've ever caught, that's for sure!


even after 11 hours out, i was sad to say goodbye to the boat.


i was happy to eat my fish after capt. harry filleted it, though!

we are all hokies

all week long i've been struggling, trying to figure out what to say about the massacre at virginia tech. i've finally realized that for me, what it comes down to is another near-miss story, much like my september 11 experience.

one of my very best friends - we'll call her ernie - is a student at tech. this university and this friend are forever linked for me. from the moment she decided to go to blacksburg for undergrad, she has been as committed a hokie as one can ever hope to find. when i visited her there it took no time for me to realize why she loved the place so much - i've never met nicer people (including my first boyfriend) anywhere, and the campus is sprawling and majestic... the scale makes it feel, in spite of hurrying and harried students everywhere, like you've got all the time in the world to meander across the drill field and among the buildings. i remember a duck pond a notoriously naked friend of hers jumped in, bowling in the student center, drinking coffee in town, and toasting her 21st at local haunt sharky's.

after a hiatus in the real world, ernie recently returned to school at va tech, and it turns out she was supposed to be sitting down for a class on the second floor of norris hall when the rampage began. luck of luck, a professor she was visiting for something else asked her what the heck she was doing on campus, after knowing about the first two shootings, and said, "i wouldn't be here if i didn't have to be - you should go home." so she did... though skipping class is definitely not her style. and she is unharmed, well, physically anyway. her good friend and lab partner was not so lucky, though thankfully we have just learned this afternoon that she is alive, in serious condition in a hospital in roanoke after withstanding (a shot? shots?) to the abdomen. another friend arrived at norris just after the shooting began - got off the bus, saw students jumping from second-story windows, and turned right around and got back on that bus.

i am so profoundly grateful that ernie is alive and in one piece. she's headed home to annapolis as i type, and i'm taking the day off friday to spend with her, doing whatever she wants to do. i'm so lucky to have that opportunity.

DC vacation

a good friend of mine went out of town this week and asked me to housesit for her at her gorgeous place in dupont circle. i greeted this invitation with glee - her condo is in an incredibly desirable neighborhood, and her home itself is stunning - high ceilings, hardwood floors, beautiful kitchen, two bedrooms and full baths... including a shower for two... so, basically, in return for taking care of her adorable kitty, i got to pretend i was a lucky girl living in the city for a couple days. so sunday evening i parked my car in her spot behind the building and gave myself over to the life, however briefly.

i wasn't feeling so hot that night, but once cam arrived he easily talked me into walking around the neighborhood in search of dinner. we ended up at one of my favorite spots, thai chef, and ordered up a tablefull of food - miso soup, salad with ginger dressing, and sushi for me, green curry for cam. between the warm weather and good food and perfect company, i started to feel a bit better. we wandered home and curled up on the couch for an episode of entourage - special, since i don't have hbo! the next morning i got to walk to work (instead of my usual walk to bus stop - bus to train - train to work trip), an incredible treat, and i arrived at work refreshed and sunny, rather than harried and commute-beaten. walking home from work was equally pleasant, and when i got "home" i cracked open a beer and awaited cam's arrival. he's been dying to take me out for ethiopian food, a cuisine i have shunned after 2 less-than-delicious outings, and that night i relented. after a quick stop at the hardware store to pick up a hostess gift of sorts (a lightbulb for my friend's refrigerator, which had gone dark), we walked over to dukem on u street and it was magical. i truly felt like we were on vacation in an exotic locale - not africa, necessarily, just anywhere that isn't here, that isn't the states. the food was delicious, there was a live band and dancers, the waitstaff all wore gauzy white dresses, and i didn't ever want to leave.

packing up the next morning was tough... hopefully we left the place as good or better than we found it, and will be invited back!