Sitting This One Out

Today's Ash Wednesday, and as a non-religious sort, that means at least once today I was surprised by the smudge on a stranger's forehead*, but not much else. I'm intrigued, though, by the way all sorts of folks have popularized Lent as a sort of temporary New Year's, a time for resolutions that you only have to keep for 40 days. Some give up Facebook, others, carbs. I've toyed with the idea, since I'm always game for self-improvement exercises, but this is one that just doesn't resonate with me. And you know what? I'm ok with that. I love cultural fusions and sharing, I love finding what works for me in the systems of others. But it's also kind of cool that there's a tradition that's got nothing to do with me, that means so much to a certain subsection of the faithful. I don't judge the apropriators one bit, and I like watching what they come up with. But I'll sit this one out. Come my birthday, though, and you'll see me make resolutions a-plenty.

*Today, at work, a colleague and I reminsced -- in vivid detail -- about watching Robert Novack, years ago, on Crossfire on Ash Wednesday. His smudge was melting down his forehead, under the TV studio lights.

vacation, all i ever wanted

last week's sojourn in tortola was both the most and least remarkable vacation i've ever been on. least remarkable because it was just that - when people come up to me and ask me "how was your vacation? what did you do?" the answer is very simple: it was amazing - i laid on a beach with a book and a pina colada every day... not much to tell! but most remarkable in that it's the first time in my life i've ever done just that, and only that, for an entire week. and let me tell you, it's well worth it. my mental state is vastly different than it was when i left. when i left, i was feeling dull around the edges - happy about happy things and sad about sad ones, but everything had lost its luster, and my job irritated me more than usual, and my road rage was more than was warranted (or healthy), and my physical health, or lack thereof, was a constant worry.

now, though nothing's actually changed, i like my job again, i shrug off the mcdonald's semi riding my ass for mile after mile on 395, and though i'm still not healthy, i'm handling it better. and the happy things? the happy things are that much happier. the thrill that you get in your chest, that happy bubbling when you're thinking about something good, or anticipating something exciting, has returned just when i was sure it never could. that, more than anything, was the best thing about my vacation.