dude, you got a dell

woo! new laptop, and soon, new ipod! get ready, as soon as i ascertain my internet situation, for more frequent and increasingly more mundane updates and thoughts! you're shivering with anticipation, right? thought so.

true love!

my beautiful sister and her amazing boyfriend are engaged! friday night, the evening of their 4th anniversary, he popped the question! i'm beyond excited! i couldn't ask for a better match for my sister - i mean, how lucky am i to wholeheartedly love the man she's going to marry? no one's ever supposed to be good enough for your sister, and lo and behold, he is. they have a beautiful life together already, and i can't wait to see what the future holds for them. plus, selfishly, they're two of my absolute favorite people in the world, and now i get to have them together forever, and the best brother-in-law a girl could ask for!

thanks, marian

what is WRONG with me? why don't i ever go to the library? it's the best flipping place in the world! you walk in, pick out anything and everything you like, and they let you walk out with it, for FREE. i finally went after ages and ages last night and i felt like a kid in a candy store. i got three books - THREE BOOKS! the only problem? now i have all these books waiting for me at home, tempting me, at odds with my mile-long to-do list. choices. choices must be made.

prize winner

dinnertime!

men movies

snowflakes! this morning on my way to work, ditzy snowflakes bounced around in my path, just infrequently enough to make me search for the next, convinced the little flurry was over. nope! not over. and tomorrow they say more is on the way.

last night was date night, matchbox & a movie. we saw "no country for old men," and it was fantastic. i haven't read the cormac mccarthy story on which it's based so it was a complete surprise at every turn. and creepy as all hell. i had no idea josh brolin could act - really act - and when javier bardem appeared on screen, he looked like no one i've ever seen before, a face jarring in its new-ness, even though he's not new at all. haunting. i don't really know who/what the oscar contenders are, but if i had any say, i'd nominate them both.

the last movie we watched together was "children of men," so if you've seen it, you know it's been a very dark, violent, and spooky couple of weeks. i mean, not really - life's great! love and families and travel and almost too much food and drink, gifts and surprises and cuddles and the occasional inappropriate text message... maybe we've been seeing these disturbing movies for a bit of balance! even still, i think it's high time for my annual "elf" viewing... and i'm moving "waitress" to the top of my netflix queue!

a public service announcement

ok. let me say first that i'm all for getting a flu shot. i've done it every year since i started my job (where we get it on-site, for free, if we want), and so far no flu, so that's good. that said, i had a particularly informative nurse this time around, so here's what she told me before the shot, in case your nurse isn't so informative:

1. the serum is thicker this year, so it's going to HURT. take four advils after your shot and stay on it.
2. don't exercise after your shot, it only makes things worse. something about your body making more antibodies or something. so take a night off from the gym.

DUDES. don't let me dissuade you from flu-shotting-it-up, but MAN. she was not lying. i was mocking everyone in my office who got it in the morning and then complained bitterly that their arms hurt. i know now the error of my ways and have eaten my words with gusto. this freaking thing HURTS. i took two advils and can barely type for the pain (ok, slight exaggeration, but only slight!). i see more advil and quantities of bourbon in my future... you know, since i can't go to the gym and all.

a trick or a treat?

it's official... today, i got blackberried. i'm not really sure how i feel about it yet. first of all, it's going to be kind of annoying to have 2 cell phones (personal and work). second of all, there's always the, "who wants to be THAT in touch with work?" question. i love my job and my work, though, and i know i can always just ignore it, but there's a bit of a philosophical debate there even still. that said, it's pretty cool, and it'll be nice to go through my work emails on my way to work instead of wasting time doing that when i get here. plus, since i don't have internet at home, it'll be cool to be able to look up an address or directions or whatever if i need them.

and a little piece of me feels special that they think i rate one, even if i think it's a little silly.

speedbump

i've been waiting on a little extra cashflow to make a decision on a condo, and it's been put on hold... fingers crossed that it comes through! frustrating.

home sweet home

when i have my new home, i will...
-sleep in a queen sized bed... thanks, cam!
-do jigsaw puzzles
-come up with fantastic pitches surfing wirelessly from my new laptop
-have a dv-r (thanks again)
-paint all the walls, whatever color i want
-go to antique shops and thrift stores to find furniture... modern furniture is far too oversized for whatever petite condo we choose
-really notice that my (current) roommate's the one with all the good kitchen stuff
-have fewer clothes and fewer books
-relinquish my oversized stereo system for a smaller set-up
-finally be able to get a new ipod

i'm going to add more as they come to me... what's been your favorite part of owning a home, or moving in with your loved one?

in a nutshell

i have total writer's block lately. not that what i jot here counts as writing. but anyway, here's an exercise in memory...

20 years ago I...
was nine years old. i don't remember much about it. i guess i was in fourth grade... ok it's coming back now. my hair was the shortest it's ever been, and so many people thought i was a boy i'll never ever do that again. i had a blue chambray shirt with silver studs on the pockets and a khaki skirt that i absolutely loved to wear together... i can still feel the fabric of the shirt, and how good i felt in that outfit. someone still referred to me as a boy, one day when i was wearing that outfit, and it never felt the same after that. it still makes me a little sad to think about. that, and that my grandfather died that year. i was so young i didn't really understand it. i mean, i knew what it meant, but it felt like something i reacted to in the way i felt i should. i loved him a ton, but whatever mourning i've done over his death has been a mellow missing him over the years, more than a tremendous display of emotion at the time.

10 years ago I...
was 19 years old. in college, a sophomore, naive and having the time of my life. i lived in river mill, tried my first cigarette, and dreamed of boys i didn't actually know. i also had my first boyfriend, though i have a hard time calling that since the entire thing was long-distance. i remember him with utmost fondness. we had a shared love of dental hygiene. we broke up when i was in cambridge visiting family, and i can still see him riding away on his bike. yikes. it was actually a huge year. one of my best friends went to prison - real, honest-to-god lock up, and my other grandfather died. that one was a lot harder... it wasn't a surprise, but i was so far from my family when it happened... it was strange.

Five years ago I...
entered my last year of grad school in dc. it was a very intellectual time period where i held down my dream internship and wrote my thesis. i had lots of fantastically smart friends, and graduated.

So far this year, I've...
done more than i can possibly distill. it's been the best ever, full of LOVE more than anything. friends, family, kitty, and the best boyfriend in the world. i even love my job, most of the time.

Yesterday I...
grilled top-notch steaks while cam made a flawless hollandaise to go with the asparagus.

Today I...
haven't done much, but a former crush did call me a "beautiful woman." in less than an hour, cam's picking me up so we can meet my agent and see some more condos.

Tomorrow I'll...
cook up a storm for the halloweiner! and hopefully come up with a halloween costume.

vroom

this weekend i went on my first motorcycle ride. i am HOOKED!

wires and waves

it's sad, but true... i just don't go to as many shows as i used to. i'm no less a fan of music, at least, and my xm has really gotten me back into it. but shows? maybe it's a function of aging and having the kind of job that i both MUST be sharp for and WANT to be sharp for. maybe it's because tickets in this fine city are so much more expensive than in athens. maybe i'm a bit jaded and tired of standing through less than stellar opening acts (and secretly mortified that i hadn't heard of them prior to arriving... when did i go from the kind of person who knows every band on the bill and actually prefers the opener to the headliner to the kind who doesn't recognize those kids up on stage?). it stresses me out a little. but last night i got off my lazy butt and saw rilo kiley with my sister. i've been a casual fan for a while, and my admiration jumped considerably with jenny lewis's rabbit fur coat. my sister loves rk, so going seemed like a decent idea. it was SO much more than that. trust me, rilo kiley puts on a hell of a show. they were incredibly tight - no wanking between songs, just the right amount of chatter, all equipment functional and tuned... and lewis is just luminous. i can't say anything about her that hasn't been said before, but i can give you this: the show we attended, courtesy of npr. it's wonderful, and it reminded me what i love about live music. thanks, rilo kiley.

humpty-dumpty

is it really only wednesday?
i've been having a really normal week, but somehow it's dragging on infinitely.
is anyone else having this problem?

rilo kiley with my sister tonight... maybe that will help! or maybe it'll just make me tired... and the week longer... bad attitude!

is it truly location, location, location?

an update: saw a ton of condos on wednesday with my lovely real estate agent. she definitely seems to 'get' me, and a lot of the places would be just fine, if not ideal. two really tickle my fancy: one in an awesome location that's very small (and i have two people and a LARGE cat to think about), another in a less-awesome location with more space. hmmmm. any thoughts? a recent first-time-homeowner friend of mine said the conventional wisdom is "whatever you buy, you can't pick it up and move it," so you better like the location. she quickly followed that with c.w. #2: you can't make more space. so, yeah. i have no idea what to do. and there's a third option: wait it out longer, see if more places pop up, and see if i have a bit more $ than i think to play with. it's possible i will. no matter what, i'm not buying anything RIGHT away, but there is a slim possibility next month will be my last paying rent. it blows my mind every time i think about it.

on the prowl

well, it's official... i'm house-hunting. well, to be more accurate, condo-hunting. for two years or more i've been scanning listings, trying to get a grip on the local market and doing a lot of thinking about what i do and don't want. i do want to live somewhere where i can walk to the metro during the day without trepidation, and reasonably but more cautiously at night. i do want a one-bedroom... when i started the search, it was before the market dropped (or, i'd say, normalized), and a studio was the best i could hope for. fortunately, my patience seems to be paying off and now it's not out of the question that i could have a one-bedroom like a civilized person. it'd be nice to live somewhere with some sort of basic exercise room. i'd prefer a gas range. and no condo fees over $300 - that's just bananas. i don't want a place that needs a lot of work, and i don't want to live somewhere where i have to worry about leaving my car in the street.

the time finally came to stop observing and dig in when i saw a property listed that sounded perfect. it's a conversion in a great area, and though i know it'll probably sell out before i get it all together, it was the kick in the pants i needed. to that end, i've been preapproved for my loan, an unsettlingly easy process online with my credit union. and today i meet with the woman i hope will be my agent! i'm pretty pumped.

i've got an interesting and exciting variable in all of this... cam. we're going to move in together (it feels so strange to type that! it's a first for both of us.) once i've got my place. he wants to help financially, and while i'm definitely not going to buy a place i can't pay for 100% solo, it's intriguing to think about how his contributions will ease my financial situation.

and of course, much more intriguing than even that is the thought of combining our lives. we virtually live together now as nomads, crashing at his place or mine, and the thought of erasing all that commuting is like crack. i know the homebuying process is complex, frustrating, and expensive... but i feel like it's going to be worth it in the end. i can't wait to have a place of my own... and then to make it ours.

impromptu oc weekend

bests, in a random top-10 format...
1. chucking parachute men off the top of the ferris wheel
2. making out in the haunted house
3. 1.0000001, 1.0000002, and 1.000003
4. fisher's on the beach, dumser's on the boardwalk
5. reading cosmo aloud in the car on the way home
6. AAA discount on the last hotel room in the world
7. team whac-a-mole, peter's the prize
8. speed skee ball to procure the aforementioned parachute men
9. bike week: a bazillion motorcycles to ogle and matching his-and-hers black&orange outfits, turquoise fringe, and that psychedelic skull shirt
10. the irish band, getting called-out for drinking boh, and the last-song dedication of "fairytale of new york," though i may have been half-asleep.

and the bottom of the barrel (but i'd do it all again)...
47. the trip home on the drunk bus (but i was protected)
48. the traffic on the way home (but i had entertainment)
49. the constant roar of harleys (but they sure were pretty)
50. the "cuisine" (there MUST be a good seafood place in OC!).

all in all, a fantastic weekend, capped off with fresh eastern shore produce and salmon for dinner in front of a dismal chargers game and an incredible windows-open night of sleep.

one observation this morning... women with long pedicured toenails always make me pause. do they sleep alone? do they have king size beds with a line drawn in the middle? there are few things i dislike more than accidentally scratching or being scratched with a toenail, it gives me the shivers.

she lives in dreams

this morning i was looking at my cat, laying on the floor per usual. he's absolutely enormous - if you don't know winston, he's 16lbs of long, lean cat... which is HUGE. so huge that his vets (he has a couple he's seen recently for 1-year checkups) both exclaimed "oh my gosh, he's huge!" one had read his weight on his chart before actually seeing him, and she was like, "i expected this big fat cat, but he's not fat at all, he's just huge!" so yeah, winston's a monster. he's also the sweetest feline ever on 4 paws, but i digress.

anyway, this morning i was looking at him lounging, he never sits curled up or in a loaf, it's always an all-out sprawl. and it suddenly occurred to me how everyone always takes pictures of their babies on the floor next to their cats, and how when i have a baby someday it's going to be hilarious (ok, maybe not everyone takes those pictures, but i know there's one of me stretched out in front of the fire after a bath, our siamese suki next to me). so cam comes in from his shower and i'm just standing there laughing, and i tell him, "you know how people always take pictures of their babies and their cats on the floor? i hope win's still around when i have one, because that kid's going to be a toddler before he's bigger than winston!" cam just looked at me bemusedly and was like, this is what you're thinking about...? he laughs and counters with, "just picture our baby laid out beside our great dane!" so i guess we're getting a great dane, too. and then he said, well actually, maybe our baby won't be a shrimp, because babies in my family are BIG. he's talking like 10lbs big. yikes! babe, how do you feel about adoption?

sad hangover

i have a sad hangover today. i had a long, difficult (but very good) conversation till late last night, then got zero sleep thanks to JB, the cat from hell (tho i love him so). then a dumb lady made me cry on the bus this morning - normally i'd have been fine, but after the aforementioned events, i was pretty fragile. work's been fine, and then cam called just to see how i was feeling and to tell that if the forecast is good, he's riding over to my place on the motorcycle tonight. now that's a thought to cheer me up! still sad hungover, but there's a break in the clouds.

pretty mama

i have really got to do something about my ipod situation. my ol'workhorse, the 40gb 3rd generation (first with the click wheel!), has died. its battery has become increasingly unreliable (i can't really complain - i've had it since 2001 or 2002) and i feel like purchasing a new battery is just asking for it to fall ill with another ailment. my nano, which is not yet 2 years old, is on the fritz. i've always used it as my workout ipod (as opposed to my regular one, which was my commuting ipod... i know, the excess is... excessive), and one time i stuck it in my sports bra because i forgot my armband... i think the subsequent sweat may have jammed up the works. now, even after a full reset, i can only toggle forward unless i put it back on the charger. that means that i can't play it and use the timer to time my workouts at the same time, and that if i skip the "shuffle" screen, i have to just listen to all my songs in alphabetical order. it's annoying. i've carried it on some recent commutes, but mostly skip it. in the last couple of weeks, however, i've learned that commuting without an ipod isn't just annoying, it's infuriating... when i'm plugged in, i can't hear the lewd and "appreciative" remarks made by men i pass on the street. it's something pretty much all women have to deal with, and when i'm listening to my ipod i usually don't hear it, and if i do, it's easy to ignore because there's no way romeo knows if i heard it or not. and believe me, i do NOT need to hear "sexy" hissed at me as i pass you in the metro station, or "mmm look at that ass" when i walk by the bus stop. i really don't.*

*there are occasional exceptions, when the comments are original or humorous. my favorite? once i was walking past the dc public library and a guy there yelled up from his camp, "hey miss! nice legs!" and it had me laughing for the rest of the night.

hot coffee

man! this weekend was one of those that just didn't seem long enough, even though it had a little something for everyone. friday night was quiet... a trip to the gym, and a fantastic batch of homemade red sauce, if i do say so. i froze most of it, so we'll see how i feel about it in time. saturday was absolutely gorgeous, though i slept till 11 so i didn't quite maximize it! but i ran, and then went to the nats/mets game that night, thanks to squidpants. it ruled - front row seats! when all the presidents ran by, TJ gave me a high five. now that's living. the game ended just in time for me to meet cam at the airport, just in at midnight from south bend. finally! sunday we had a big breakfast, then parted ways because i had a date with psmee for an urban hike! she and her love have a strong commitment to walking the city, and i adored taking part this weekend. we walked from eastern market to dupont circle, where we stopped for beers and greek food at zorba's, then all the way back to metro center where we hopped a train home. it was so much fun - the best possible quality time with a dear friend, and one of the best things about her is how she's so enthusiastic about her love for this city. it's infectious, and it makes me feel good about living here. it's a special time indeed. i returned home exhausted but happy, did a bunch of satisfying chores (these days, a to-do list is no match for me!), then grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and sauteed asparagus for cam&i for dinner. i make a mean steak, thanks to my mom. 5 minutes on a side, and set the timer - that's the secret!

and today is cool and rainy, a hot coffee day for the first time in months. cheers to that!